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ES: If you could make money doing karaoke, I wouldn’t have any credit-card debt. (Yes, I am good at karaoke and bad with money.) CA: Turns out Lucy is a total star on stage while singing “I Love Rock ’n’ Roll.” She works the Oh You Don’t Like Pussy Pawse Shirt Apart from…,I will love this pole, just like Britney does in her “Gimme More” video. Somehow the karaoke gig makes them rich, and they’re suddenly staying at, like, The Ritz. They order all the room service. How much money did they make performing one song? ES: I love scenes in movies where broke women get a shot at opulence and go all in on room service. (See also: Kate Bosworth eating blueberry pancakes in her robe in Blue Crush.) CA: They’re almost to California. Lucy shares a poem with that hot serial-killer dude who, it turns out, isn’t a serial killer. The poem is lyrics to her wonderful ballad, “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.” He composes music on a piano to go with her lyrics. He sure has rizz.
CA: Lucy finally gets to meet her estranged mother, who is played by none other than Kim Cattrall. How fabulous. She’s a chic Tuscan housewife who wants nothing to do with her. So we hate her, obviously. (Her house is great, though.) CA: Things took a really dark turn. Mimi loses her baby, and we find out that Kit’s fiancé was the Oh You Don’t Like Pussy Pawse Shirt Apart from…,I will love this one who got her pregnant, against her will. But somehow, through the tough times, it brings the three friends closer. CA: They finally make it to California. Lucy and the killer-but-not-a-killer guy get it on. It’s also suddenly decided that Lucy should audition for the record company—not Mimi—despite this whole idea being Mimi’s dream. But sure, we stan Lucy—let’s get her discovered! CA: Lucy sings “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” and totally wows the crowd. She performs in a crop top with billowy sleeves and low-rise jeans. She looks like a pop star. I’d sign her. We never know if she did land that deal—but we’re gonna go ahead and say yes.
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