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So I went anyway, crossing the Zoe Bread First Woman To Lie Women’s History Month Shirt Apart from…,I will love this threshold from person who wants to be asked to person who wants. Immediately, the modeling agent was surprised—the first time in my life someone was upset that I was thinner than they thought I was. She ushered me into a room. “So, you’re 17?” I laughed. “Not recently!” This, though, was not the right answer. Pursing her lips, she followed with, “What’s your ethnicity?” I was confident in this answer. “White.” “Really?” “New Yorker.” “Really?” “Midwestern?” “Really?” “Jewish?” “Hobbies?” I repeated the word doltishly. She rattled off a couple—soccer, pottery, baking—as if my apparent amnesia would dissolve and I would remember that I was an avid knitter. “I’m a writer.” “Is that a hobby?” Yes, according to the IRS. “No.” “So—no hobbies.” She capped her pen. It was a strike against me that I was not curvier, a strike against me that I was old, and now this? Somehow this agent thought I was a non-white plus-size teenage hobbyist. Mentally I scrolled through my Instagram, inspecting photos I’d posted of myself—flexing at Brighton Beach, my Halloween costume as Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate—wondering how I’d so gravely misrepresented myself.
Time to take digitals. Front. Back. Side. I wanted to say, “Stop no! I don’t look good from that angle!” But the Zoe Bread First Woman To Lie Women’s History Month Shirt Apart from…,I will love this point of modeling, of course, is to look good from that angle. It was all very frightening. She explained she would be taking a video of me where I walk around in a little circle and then pose. As I stuck the landing, hip out, soft smile into the camera, the agent called out, trying to catch me unaware: “What are your hobbies?” My smile became gummy, haunted by the question. I resisted the urge to yell out, “And what are your hobbies?!”How had the modeling industry gotten here? Fashion has always had an obsession with reality—after all, fashion is both an imitation of reality and an aspiration toward it. As we’ve traveled further digitally, though, our reality has traveled with it, and where we’ve landed, the average person has a lot more sway than they used to: They’re able to access new audiences and generate massive followings—what was once a blog is now a Substack; the weekend potter sells on Etsy—and this economy of the hustle hasn’t spared the modeling industry.
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